I've found a cure for depression, and if you don't believe
me, give it a try. Anyone can do this. The majority of those reading this will
attest to the therapeutic properties of nature, and there's a whole field of
horticultural therapy devoted to bringing happiness and rehabilitation through
gardening. While we can't all be horticultural therapists, the joy of nature
can be prescribed by anyone. Here's what you do: Clip flowers or leaves from
the garden, seal them in bags and deliver them in person to the ones you love.
A note: If your loved one is suffering from severe dementia, stick
to herbs and edible plants and consult with the staff first to stay on the safe
side.
Have you ever spent much time in a nursing home? They're
depressing. Even the nicest facilities with the friendliest staff have an air
of hopelessness to them, as if the smell of urine has only been masked with
room deodorizer and bleach. Many of the residents will never leave their
cramped and shared rooms until they leave this world for the next. Some, like
my fifty year old mother, are confined to their beds by illness and can't even
step outside to enjoy a breath of fresh air! Those suffering from delirium or
dementia have little to connect them to the world that they used to love, and
treasured memories quickly become lost in the monotony of long corridors and
bland, overcooked food. The friends and family so dear to these patients rarely
visit, and when they do show up, they stand in awkward silence trying desperately
to avoid the unsettling sights and smells that kept them away in the first
place.
One of my mother's bottlebrush trees. This particular tree has blooms that are twice as big as the usual ones. |
When my mom checked in to yet another nursing facility, I
first visited her old garden and carefully snipped off the flowers and stems of
the plants so dear to her. First I clipped the stems of herbs like rosemary,
oregano, tarragon and thyme so that she could hold them to her nose, close her
eyes, and inhale the fragrant memories of cooking and sitting on her patio. I
then looked for anything in bloom: a delicate African iris flower, the big
bright red flowers of a bottlebrush tree, and some vivid purple Pericallis
flowers. While looking around, I found surprises like a pineapple guava bloom
that I wouldn't have noticed otherwise. The most treasured fragrances that I saved
were of the honey scented Alyssum
'Sweet Snow' and her beloved confederate jasmine.
An African 'iris' in the shade that rarely blooms thanks to the low light. |
The first ever bloom on my mom's feijoa, aka pineapple guava! |
I put each 'specimen' in a ziplock bag along with little
bits of moistened paper towels to keep them fresh, and gently set them in a
grocery bag. While I was out clipping flowers, my wife lovingly packed and
organized my mom's makeup and cosmetic supplies, as well as her favorite foods.
When we saw my mother, I let her take each bag out one by one as if it were a
stocking filled with goodies. She felt the soft stamens of the bottlebrush,
held the fragrant herbs and flowers to her nose and marveled at the little
pineapple guava blossom that waited three years in the garden to bloom, as if
it was preparing for her hour of need.
After we left for the night, my mother was in a lot of pain.
She told me that the nurses probably thought she was a druggie, because she
held the bags of herbs to her nose as if they were oxygen, focusing on the
smell while she convulsed and cried. In the days that followed, those garden
samples brightened the nurses days too, and they got to enjoy aromas that
reawakened their own cheerful memories.
.
Oh my gosh, what a sweet, tender gift for your mother. And a great idea for anyone to do for someone.
ReplyDeleteFlowerLady
It's true! Everyone could benefit from this, and especially those who are ill in some way.
DeleteSteve,
ReplyDeleteYou have described the Nursing Home so perfectly. It took me back to when my Grandfather was a patient. Like I had said before this is such a thoughtful and considerate gift :)
How about Lamb's ears or Kitten ears? They feel so soft!
Good ideas! I don't ever see them around here, but Tibouchina would be a great warm climate alternative!
DeleteThis is truly a great idea to do for those who are no longer able to experience the outdoors. Your thoughtfulness in doing this for your mother is so touching. Being able to share these gifts with her nursing staff must have been very special for her. So often we don't think how it must be to not have anything to share with others. What a special gift you've given.
ReplyDeleteYou're right! Everyone has something special to share, and in her case it's usually kindness. Thank you for understanding how I feel.
DeleteMy mother-in-law was so lucky to have a window that looked outside and we managed to fill it to capacity with plants. It made her final days much happier. There is something about green living things. I loved the description your Mom had about seeming like a druggie breathing in the smell of green plants you have grown yourself.
ReplyDeleteShe has a window too, but unfortunately they have to close it every night so there isn't any room for plants. :(
Deleteyou went straight to my heart with this. i would have those baggies stuck to my nose too! i can't imagine a more precious (healing!) thing to do for someone who can't get out into the garden herself. it's soothing to the giver as well as the receiver...sweet.
ReplyDeleteThanks Daricia! I guess it gives new meaning to the phrase 'Stop and smell the roses.' It really does make the day better.
DeleteWhat a wonderful thing you have done for your Mom Steve! Smells are a gateway to memories as we all know when we smell that special something that reminds us of things remembered. You have truly given your Mom a beautiful gift of love from your heart and the earth to help her heal.
ReplyDeleteSmells are great... especially with the nasty overcooked food! She also likes the smell of freshly sharpened colored pencils. Who wouldn't?
DeleteRFG, your mother is so lucky to have such a thoughtful and loving son! How wonderful to fill a nursing home with such lovely scents. I hope you are taking care of yourself as well through this.
ReplyDelete(Envious of her giant-blooming bottlebrush...)
I'm so happy to see you're back! I really missed the beautiful photos of your garden and the fun themed posts. By the way, I can't dig up the bottlebrush, but I think i might take some cuttings!
Delete